Friendly Professional Tired Of Getting Hit On At Work
DEAR ABBY: I work in a place where being friendly to customers is part of my job requirement, but I feel like many guys interpret this the wrong way. It seems I am a "jerk attractor," and I don't know how to make it stop. The worst of these jerks can't take a hint that I'm not interested. One of them is a co-worker who sexually harasses me all day. Please help me so I stop attracting these losers. -- FRIENDLY IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR FRIENDLY: While this is certainly not your fault in any way, many women in the hospitality industry wear a wedding ring to discourage the kind of unwelcome attention you have described. However, a co-worker doing this is a different story. There are workplace rules to protect women and men, and they should be listed in your employee handbook.
Start documenting what this person has been doing and warn the other female employees. The next time it happens, inform him that the name for what he's doing is harassment, it's unwelcome and you will report it to your boss. If that doesn't discourage him, follow through, because it could cost him his job.
DEAR ABBY: I have a longtime friend with whom I had a wonderful relationship. Over the last couple of years, he has made some bad life decisions. He is now without a job, without a girlfriend and in an apartment that's less than desirable. For a long time, I kept my opinions to myself. But, finally, I started offering advice with the hope he'd see that his decisions are causing him grief and hardship. I always do it with love, but he becomes very upset when I try to help him. Am I wrong for trying to guide a dear friend toward a better path? -- IN A DILEMMA IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR DILEMMA: Your friend may not be ready to listen to someone telling him he has chosen the wrong path. Because the guidance you have so generously offered has fallen on deaf ears, recognize you are wasting your time and turn off your fountain of wisdom.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are seniors. We got married in 2020. When we were dating, things were fun and good. Now, however, I'm in a no-talk, no-response nightmare. After the first two years, he changed. He never starts conversations and never says "thank you" for anything. He simply doesn't talk.
If I ask questions, he won't respond or acknowledge me in any way. If someone calls, he talks and talks with them. Does he hate me? I speak my mind and voice my disappointment. Should I still try to fix it or get out? -- STUCK IN SILENCE
DEAR STUCK: You can't fix something that may not be your fault. However, before calling it quits, you can offer your husband the opportunity to get your marriage back on track with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist. Schedule an appointment with one, and if your husband refuses to go with you, go alone.
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